Esports Express

Dota 2 Community Wins Sole Custody of Sumail

The Dota 2 community was awarded full custody today of professional player Syed “Sumail” Hassan over Evil Geniuses’ Peter “PPD” Dager.

A court judge ruled that Dager was unfit to support Hassan and was becoming a negative influence on the child’s behavior in game and on stream. The Dota 2 community submitted several pieces of key evidence including a video of the first five minutes of DAC grand finals game three.

“A responsible parent would not allow their child to die four times mid while visiting China,” said one r/Dota2 user offlane_suedmother. “The average r/Dota2 support player would have rotated to save him in time.”

Dager’s attorney, Charlie “Obelisk” Yang, stated that his client will appeal and will petition for visitation rights during major Dota 2 tournaments.

“EG will continue to develop, and replace, championship players,” Yang added, referring to EG’s previous custody battle with Secret.

While under PPD’s influence, Hassan was recorded acting inappropriately toward his teammates and opponents while streaming Dota 2, including:

• Repeatedly unpausing the game when teammates were disconnected

• Expressing the desire that his teammate be the victim of gun violence

• Stealing a jungle stack and subsequently reporting his teammate for complaining

• Hoping that the enemy team’s home electrical circuits malfunction intermittently

• Declaring that opponent’s parents must have missed a home mortgage payment, negatively impacting their credit score

• Desiring for an opponent to eat large quantities of spicy chicken wings only to realize that he has quickly exhausted his supply of napkins

• Wishing that a teammate accidentally trim his fingernails too aggressively, resulting in mild cuticle pain when typing

The Dota 2 community has indicated that they intend to raise Hassan to more like Magnus the Magnoceros’ son, Gustav.




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