What Patch 6.82 Really Says

— September 26, 2014

We’ve delved deep into the trench to determine what Patch 6.82 really means for the unwashed masses of low MMR.

Thing	6.82 Patch Notes	What it REALLY says
Base	Fountain area higher elevation.	We’ve decided to the extra challenge will make fountain farming more rewarding, you’ll never be bored again!
Rosh	Reworked terrain surrounding Rosh.	Players were growing unnecessarily comfortable around the Rosh pit.
Rune	Added a Bounty Rune that always spawns on the opposite of normal Rune.	Now mid players can fight their own team for runes!
Mode	Reworked how All Pick works in Ranked Matchmaking.	Please leave us alone.
Glyph	CD refreshed when losing Tier 1. Tier 2 Tower’s armor increased. Tower bounty gold reduced.	Stop Drafting Death Prophet: The Phantom Menace.
Kills	Reworked bonus AoE of XP, Gold, and Streaks.	Now you can be more angry when your allies give up after feeding first blood.
	Mist Coil mana cost rescaled.	Nobody will ever feel bored playing Abbaddon ever again.
	Acid Spray negative armor increased from 3/4/5/6 to 4/5/6/7.	Acid Spray now balanced around titles of “The Fast and Furious” franchise films.
	Base strength increased from 20 to 22.	Fuck magic, but now harder and with more endurance.
	Counter Helix chance increased from 17% to 20%.	3% Spincrease = Axe OP.
	Agh’s Fiend’s Grip now Nightmares anyone who attacks Bane during channeling.	“Once I get my Agh’s on a 5 position Bane, I can finally stop feeding!”
	Wild Axes damage type from Composite to Physical.	We have given up on anyone ever really understanding how Composite damage worked.
	Too much to list.	Prepare to be confused when playing with and playing against this entirely new hero.
	Shuriken Toss now bounces to all Tracked units within a 900 AoE.	Bounty Hunter now counters mass TP.
	Drunken Brawler’s crit/evasion timer increased.	Brewmaster is now the designated driver for parties at level 1.
	Many spin web changes.	We dare to dream of a world where Broodmother can switch lanes.
	Stampede manacost increased from 80 to 100.	Icefrog believes Stampede should cost 20 mana more.
	Phantasm Illusion duration increased from 24 to 34.	6.82 guarantees more intense and longer lasting Phantasms. Call Valve if your Phantasm persists after 4 hours.
	Agh’s now allows Holy Persuasion to target Ancients.	“If I rush this item on Chen, I will for sure have it before 30 minutes.”
	Searing Arrows is no longer an Attack Modifier.	Clinkz may now build Desolator.
	Hookshot now goes to neutrals normally like any unit.	Buffed Agh’s Clockwerk jungling.
	Freezing Field explosion radius increased from 230 to 250.	6.83: radius increased from 250 to 270.
	Vaccum cooldown rescaled from 28.0 to 28 seconds.	Icefrog: “Dark Seer is officially a joke.”
	Agh’s Weave armor reduction per second increased.	Dazzle has spells other than grave?
	Exorcism cooldown increased.	Stop Drafting Death Prophet: Attack of the Ghosts.
	Doom now requires Agh’s to disable passives.	Somewhere, Bristle and Slark are laughing.
	Frost arrow slow increased.	Delay your certain death slightly longer than before.
	Added Aghanim’s Scepter: Grants Earth Spirit a new ability, Enchant Remnant, which lets him temporarily convert a hero into a Stone Remnant. Boulder Smash unit targeting now only selects units Boulder Smash point targeting now knocks back the closest Remnant (within 200 area of effect) in the direction selected Geomagnetic Grip silence rebalanced from 2/3/4/5 to 2.5/3/3.5/4 Geomagnetic Grip damage rebalanced from 100/150/200/250 to 50/125/200/275 Geomagnetic Grip pull speed on allies reduced from 1000 to 600 Stone Remnant drop range reduced from 1400 to 1100 Fixed Stone Remnant being unable to travel as a projectile through Chronosphere Fixed Stone Remnants not appearing in fog of war Magnetize search radius increased from 300 to 400 Magnetized Stone Remnants disappear after 8 seconds instead of 5	This hero was too easy to understand before.
	Agh’s: units that are sucked in to be disarmed in addition to slowed.	Why does he carry a big staple gun?
	Base movement speed increased from 310 to 315.	“Chen gets to control Dragons while I got 5 base movement speed, thanks Icefrog.”
	Midnight Pulse cooldown increased from 25 to 35.	You must wait 10 more seconds before single-handedly stopping a push with one ability.
	Chronosphere AoE reduced from 450 to 425. Chronosphere flying vision reduced from 1000 to 425. Chronosphere no longer disables passives. Chronosphere effects no longer linger for an extra 0.5 seconds.	TLDR; hero still broken.
	Homing Missile maximum damage increased.	Because Homing Missile wasn’t annoying enough.
	Life break cooldown reduced from 45/30/15 to 12.	Now allied Huskars can suicide into 5 heroes every 12 seconds!
	Tornado flying vision AoE reduced, damage from 2Wex+Quas to 3Quas.	Kael, we’re not in Kansas anymore.
	Dual Breath movement and attack slow rebalanced.	Jakiro don’t care, he breathes what he wants.
	Blade Fury no longer canceled by Chrono, Toss, Black Hole, Global Silence, Doom.	Spinning around really really fast now ignores the combined effects of time and space.
	Mana leak percentage and duration increased.	KOTL. KOTL take mana. Take mana.
	X Marks The Spot cooldown from 13 to 14/13/12/11.	Now allied Kunkkas can miss the torrent-boat combo every 11 seconds!
	Duel no longer disables passives. Enabled in CM.	Prepare to donate damage to PA and Void.
	Pulse Nova damage increased.	Leshrac’s personality now the second biggest reason to avoid standing near him.
	Ice armor slows full amount on ranged heroes.	Offlane Lich is not strong enough.
	LSA range and duration increased.	We’ve discovered that players may have a hard time landing this skill.
	Spirit Bear now has 300 mana.	Medic Bear and Dagon Bear now viable.
	Shapeshift now has a 1.5 second transformation time.	Can we have an arcana that makes shapeshift play the Transformers transformation sound effect?
	Empower no longer removed by Spell Immunity.	But PA is a strong independent BKB carry who don’t need no bubble hands.
	Mystic Snake damage absorption rate increased, outgoing speed increased, return speed reduced, mana steal increased.	Medusa now eats damage and shits mana.
	Meepo clones’ boot slot now matches the slot Meepo Prime has his boots in.	Reduced minimum level of prestidigitation required to play Meepo. Increased number of people looking up what that word means.
	Leap speed reduced, distance rebalanced.	“White Cats Can’t Jump” starring the Priestess of the Moon.
	Nature’s Call Treant magic resistance reduced.	Now supports can kill treants easier! If only Prophet would push lanes where those supports were located…
	Heartstopper aura now provides negative HP regeneration equal to 1.25/2/2.75.3.5% of total HP.	Is negative HP regen the same as positive HP reduction? Tune in next week to the Science of Necrophos.
	Hunter in the Night attack speed and Darkness duration increased.	Underleveled supports now must huddle in fear for an additional 15 seconds.
	2x Multicast chance increased.	Significantly increased Ogre Magi’s skill ceiling.
	Base armor and purification damage AoE increased.	SirActionSlacks uphill crawl to average 5k Reddit MMR slightly less steep.
	Essence Aura chance increased, mana restored decreased.	Welfare mana now more frequent but less significant.
	Blur minimap hide now has the opposite effect.	Enemies hidden from minimap when near PA? Minimap is now hidden when enemies near PA??
	Too many to list.	What terrible disease should we call this hero now?
	Agh’s now allows Phoenix to cast Supernova on allied hero.	Surely this will never be used to grief allies.
	Turn Rate improved from 0.5 to 0.7.	Apparently, this buff somehow only works on enemy Pudges.
	Dream Coil no longer ignores invisible units or illusions.	Are we not tethered to this plane by our hopes and aspirations? Even illusions can dream…
	Life Drain can now be targeted on allies to transfer life from you to them.	Wisp can tether to Pugna for literally infinite lifegain!
	Removed unit targeting from Sonic Wave, increased AoE.	Sonic Wave now less likely to miss everyone except that one low health enemy.
	Static Link no longer ignores Linken’s Sphere.	Stop Drafting Razor: Revenge of the Sphere.
	Permanent Invisibility is now a basic skill.	Life in the trench determined to be “insufficiently brutal.”
	Scepter Demonic Purge charges increased from 2 to 3.	“For extra hate, I can now purge the same enemy 3 times.”
	New hero model. Necromastery soul cap increased.	The new model and buffs won’t change the fact that you miss your razes.
	Silencer Glaives damage increased.	Clearly the one thing this hero was missing was more damage.
	Concussive shot rebalanced, now disjointable.	“Studies show Concussive Shot has no long lasting effects after it is disjointed” –NFL
	Slithereen Crush stun duration increased.	Should we not call it “Slithereen Infatuation” now?
	Slark no longer visible inside Chronosphere during Shadow Dance.	Ms. Void Bennett: “As it is I wouldn’t dance with Slark for all of Chronosphere.”
	Headhshot now causes MS and AS slow instead of ministun.	Roaming Sniper now hard-countered by TP scrolls, everyone rejoice.
	Spectral Dagger movement speed increased, projectile speed decreased.	Get stuck in trees faster than ever before!
	Charge of Darkness, Greater Bash, Empowering Hast changed.	Spirit Breaker players don’t read patch notes because nearly all of them cannot read.
	Ball Lightning manacost per 100 units from 10+1% to 12+0.7%.	This year’s Storm Spirit offers better fuel economy and lower carbon emissions.
	Added Agh’s God’s Strength bonus for allies.	“I have a dream that my supports will one day play Dota where they will not be judged by the contents of their inventory but by the damage of their right clicks.” — Dr. Martin Luther Sven
	Buffs.	Positives: more people play Techies. Negatives: More people play Techies.
	Psionic Trap cooldown reduced.	“Please enable allied unit control” now uttered earlier and earlier.
	Enabled in Captain’s Mode.	Second pick team’s bans reduced by one.
	Anchor Smash damage reduction reduced.	I for one have NEVER struggled as a melee hero solo laning against Tidehunter.
	Added Agh’s second Chakram.	Timbersaw players now get a second chance when they inevitably miss their first Chakram.
	March of the Machines no longer affects Spell Immune units.	Stop Drafting Tinker: The Fellowship of the Ancients.
	Added Agh’s Eyes in the Forest ability, remote overgrowth effects.	Pedobear is so jealous of Treant Protector right now.
	Acquisition Range increased.	Troll attended Business School between 6.81 and 6.82.
	Ice Shards now travels to cast location.	Now Fissure has competition for “ability most likely to block allies from a kill.”
	Tombstone AoE increased.	This may lead to the gentrification of the Tombstone neighborhood and unrealistic rent increases for underprivileged zombies.
	Nether Swap range increased.	Saving enemies 50 range earlier now.
	Corrosive Skin now only affects enemies within 1400 AoE.	Ancient Apparition can finally live his life free of corrosion.
	Familiars’ Stone Form cooldown from 30 to 26.	David Xanatos is not happy.
	Golem attack range, HP, base attack time, HP regen, Immolation AoE increased.	MVP Phoenix wins TI5.
	Geminate Attack can now proc items.	Every Weaver player now rushes Daedalus.
	Shackleshot max distance increased.	“How did that latch!?” found to be uttered 9% more frequently.
	Reincarnation mana cost increased.	Campaign to ensure no one plays Wraith King continues as planned.
	Static Field AoE increased from 1000 to 1200.	Did you know Bloodrage works on Zeus ultimate??
	Recipe cost reduced.	Armlet can now be built on everyone, not just Sniper.
	Aura no longer displays status debuff if carrier not visible.	Stealth Curiass engaged.
	Gold cost increased from 2150 to 2250.	Applied 100 gold “core on every hero” tax.
	Now requires Soul Ring and 800 recipe instead of Perseverence.	EE’s Storm Spirit rejoices.
	Gold cost increased from 650 to 700.	Mid pooling increased from 2 to 3 tangos.
	Teleport cooldown reduced from 60 to 50.	Fixed the one thing Dota was missing: more split pushing.
	Added ability to trade evasion for 20% movement speed bonus for 8 seconds.	Soon, brown boots will have an active.
	Cloak, Hood, and Pipe magic resistance now stacks.	As in real life, wearing all these together will likely result in taking physical damage.
	Energy burst mana cost increased.	Stop Drafting Tinker: The Two Nerfs.
	Recipe cost reduced, agility gain rebalanced, Feedback rebalanced.	Now I can die slightly slower to those 5 Naga illusions.
	Ether Blast now has a projectile.	Stop Drafting Tinker: The Return of the Projectile.
	Frost Attack Attack Speed Slow increased.	“I make your attack pretty, Senpai please build me.”
	Courier Speed Burst duration reduced.	Clearly if you want to bottle crow, buy 4 couriers and treat the bottle like a relay race baton.
	Dominated Units now have 250 bonus HP.	Get ready for a 750 hp Ghost creep slowing you late game.
	HP regeneration increased from 8 to 9.	Well now Hood is just too good to pass up.
	Changes to how Linken’s affects certain abilities.	Linken’s Sphere: #1 source of blue balls in Dota 2.
	Recipe cost increased from 600 to 700.	Fossil fuel scarcity impacting electricity prices even in Dota.
	Mirror Image vision type changed to Ground.	Manta illusions used to have flying vision??
	Recipe cost reduced.	Your mom is now cheaper to buy.
	Restore mana cost increased.	Strength heroes now literally too stupid to operate Mek.
	HP regeneration increased from 8 to 9.	How can Pipe regen be real if Hoods aren’t real?
	Cooldown increased.	Can we have soul ring build into this too? Perseverii are so boring.
	Armor increased from 2 to 3, gold cost increased from 175 to 200.	25 gold for 1 armor? Most cost efficient armor buff in the game!!
	True Sight AoE increased.	Is a buff on an item your supports never have truly a buff?
	Shadow Walk damage increased.	Gretchen, stop trying to make Shadow Blade happen. It’s not going to happen.
	Freezing Aura no longer displays status debuff if carrier not visible.	If this was real life I’d probably notice a “freezing aura” around me but in real life armor doesn’t vomit white stuff.
	Gold cost reduced to 100.	Most common trench supports will now hear “It only costs 100 gold! in addition to “Why don’t you have a TP!?”

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