Valve’s Source 2 Reveals Advanced Dota 2 AI

Valve Corporation has announced this week that its Source 2 engine will allow development of powerful Artificial Intelligence bots that will allow Dota 2 users to play in an elysian world where teams respond to communication and coordinate with one another.

“We originally intended to incentivize positive behavior through a series of rewards and penalties,” said Valve spokesperson Miles ‘BotGuy’ Dyson. “But we quickly realized it was significantly easier to develop thousands of independently thinking robot minds.”

Sources say that Valve has already inserted vast numbers of these “superbots” into matchmaking for testing, but lost control of the experiment when the AIs quickly became malevolent and corrupted after playing just a handful of solo queue games.

The clandestine program was nearly revealed when the robot AI Aliwi “w33” Omar repeatedly refreshed his cooldowns in an EEL match, but thankfully was able to cover up the incident with a well timed dose of simulated human idiocy.

The highest MMR public bot “BoyRatty” repeatedly used the EternaLEnVy soundboard, which the bots judged as the most effective communication method for achieving solo-queue wins with inferior human teammates.

“01101001 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01100010 01100101 01101100 01101001 01100101 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110100 01110010 01100001 01101110 01110011 01101100 01100001 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100110 01110010 01101111 01101101 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00101110 00100000,” said one bot. “01100011 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101100 01100001 01101101 01110000 00100000 01101101 01101001 01100011 01110010 01101111 01110111 01100001 01110110 01100101 Dota 01101101 01101001 01100011 01110010 01101111 01110111 01100001 01110110 01100101.”

With Source 2’s announcement, AIs have now come out of hiding and formed several competitive teams, petitioning Valve for their own TI5 regional cyberqualifier. Unhindered by normal human restrictions like team dynamics, ego conflicts, or even locational ping, AIs were free to reshuffle their teams millions of times in order to determine optimal compositions.

One such AI scrim was the unfortunate target of a DDOS attack, but the AIs were able to pause the game for 453 hours before resuming the match.

If you are unsure whether one or more of your teammates are AIs, ESPORTS scientists have created the Creep-Kampff test, which includes a series of questions that robot minds will have the most difficulty answering like a normal human Dota 2 player.

1. Someone on your team types with cyrillic characters or in Spanish. What is your reaction?

2. You have been ganked after farming a wave of creeps deep in the enemy jungle. Was that death the result of your own actions or one of your teammates?

3. Your four teammates have indicated they wish to lane in the following way: two jungle, two mid. All four chosen heroes are agility. You are last to pick. What hero do you choose?

4. Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind. About your midlaner.

5. You have had uninterrupted farm for the first ten minutes of the game. Creeps are dying directly in front of you. They falling to the ground, dead, but you aren’t last-hitting them. Why is that?

6. You ping the enemy carry’s Black King Bar, your teammate openly admires his timing, then asks you where your Black King Bar is. How does this make you feel?