Former TSM Darkness Players Hire Thorin as Attorney
— March 24, 2015Several former TSM Darkness players announced today that they have hired eSports historian and Facebook novelist Duncan “Thorin” Shields to represent them in their legal action against SoloMid Corporation for wrongful termination.
“Most actual lawyers took one look and said we had no case,” said Lyonel “Arcsecond” Pfaender, who plans to raise attorney’s fees by purchasing a TSM shirt and streaming himself burning it. “However, Thorin talked to us about it for several hours.”
He added, “Thorin also said he’s willing to be paid in firewood.”
Andy “Reginald” Dinh, CEO of SoloMid Corporation, had dropped their challenger squad following a scrim leaking scandal and poor performance in the NACS, stating “If I wanted players who leaked scrims and went 1-7, I’d put them in the top lane.”
“What better way to get around the TSM interview ban than to question Regi under oath?” said Shields while wearing a heavy parka and what appeared to be between five to seven scarves. “TSM can’t blacklist the US Department of Labor.”
In a two-part, eighteen hour YouTube video, Shields revealed that he plans to study law in the most competitive legal region, Korea, so as to dominate the courts of California, TSM’s home jurisdiction. Shields also plans to pass the bar in Poland so as to represent and defend himself against 127 currently pending lawsuits in the country.
Shields has already prepared several lines of questioning for Dinh ahead of the inevitable trial:
• What is your favorite type of salad?
• Who is your favorite Roman general?
• Which is your favorite faction in Fallout: New Vegas?
In addition, Shields planned to call Ritchie “Fade” Ngo as his first witness, taking extra care to ensure that Tim “Timokiro” Cho did not appear in court instead. Unfortunately, his strategy was leaked to opposing counsel by his paralegal, former Darkness AD Carry David “T3azer” Berube.
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