MYM Seizes Player’s House, Family

Wretched ingrate Marcin Wolski has been reduced to a life of indigent vagrancy after an attempt to besmirch the reputation of respectable businessman Sebastian “Falli” Rotterdam. He is believed by fellow street urchins to be under the influence of silver-tongued rabble-rouser Stephen “Snoopeh” Ellis, whose Union of Esports Workers violates the time-honored Right to Contract.

While many say that the practice of institutionalised child labor has had its day, Meet Your Makers remains dedicated to its policy of harnessing the youthful vigour of its players by any means necessary, including a proud tradition of threats and intimidation.

Before professional League of Legends teams would employ them, youths like Wolski remained a drain on already impoverished households until they were as old as eighteen and could be be put to work. In these modern times, however, captains of industry like MYM can have a child earning their keep before they can even sign their own contracts.

Esports magnate Khalid Naim has many words to the support of Child Labor:

“Children, possessed of youthful minds and nimble fingers, are especially well-suited to work in esports. Not only are their reflexes superior to those of an aged adult, but their inability to sign a contract is a potential source of revenue.”

He added, “Ideally, a parent should be made to sign the contract; should the child renege, we are legally entitled to seize their household, including furniture, grandparents, siblings, chimney pots, and any and all as-yet-uncontracted children.”

Esports manager Sebastian “Falli” Rotterdam, hoping to take the more valiant and civilised path, attempted to negotiate with the senseless Wolski. Seeking to assuage the worker’s cupidity, he even offered to replace Wolski’s ramshackle family home with a new living space. Indeed, during the illicitly recorded conversation, the trained ear can discern the sounds of Rotterdam hard at work remodeling.

Wolski’s decision to decline the offer leaves the team a player short for its upcoming games. Given that Wolski’s mother had originally signed his contract, MYM representatives have indicated that we can expect to see Mrs. Wolski take her son’s place in the mid lane.