Harry Potter Dota: The Fogwards Express

 
Welcome to the second chapter of our ongoing series, which answers the question: In Harry Potter, what if instead of magic, it’s Dota 2?

Previous Chapters:

Oct 27 2014: 01 The Wardmaster
Jan 02 2015: 02 The Fogwards Express

——————-

Eul’s Wand Shop

A short, muscular man was standing before them, his wide, bright eyes shining like wisp spirits through the gloom of the store.

“Hello,” said Harry awkwardly.

“Ah yes,” said the man. “Yes, yes. I thought I’d be seeing you soon. Harry Potter.” It wasn’t a question. “You have your mother’s eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wand. A stick, three branches, and a recipe. A great wand for a creative crafting. Five hundred gold pieces.”

Eul moved closer to Harry. Harry wished he would blink. Those silvery eyes were a bit creepy.

“Your father, on the other hand, wanted a little more health for support work. His wand was a stick, three branches, and a recipe. Five hundred gold pieces.”

Harry blinked. “They had the same wand?”

Eul had spotted Mike.

“Michael! How nice to see you again… Michael couldn’t afford a wand until his third year. A stick, three branches, and a recipe.”

Mike adjusted his sunglasses. “My house made me buy the all the wards.”

Eul turned his attention back to Harry.

“Hmmm,” said Eul. “Well, now — Mr. Potter. Let me see.” He pulled a long tape measure with silver markings out of his pocket. “Which is your wand arm?”

“Er — well, I’m right-handed,” said Harry.

“Hold out your arm. That’s it.” He measured Harry from shoulder to finger, then wrist to elbow, shoulder to floor, knee to armpit and round his head. As he measured, he said, “Every Eul wand has a core of a powerful magical substance, Mr. Potter. We use centaur hairs, phoenix tail feathers, and the heartstrings of two-headed dragons. No two Eul wands are the same, just as no two centaurs, dragons, or phoenixes are quite the same.”

Harry nodded.

“But I think you might also be a stick, three branches, recipe kind of Dota player.” Eul continued. “Try this one, it’s made from bear hair. Just take it and give it a wave.”

Harry waved it around a bit, but Eul snatched it out of his hand almost at once. He produced a second, which left sand on Harry’s hand.

“This one is made from a scorpion tail. Try —”

Harry tried — but he had hardly raised the wand when it, too, was snatched back by Eul.

“No, no — here’s one made from a scarab beetle spine. Go on, go on, try it out.”

Harry tried. And tried. He had no idea what Eul was waiting for. The pile of tried wands was mounting higher and higher on the spindly chair, but the more wands Eul pulled from the shelves, the happier he seemed to become.

“Tricky customer, eh? Not to worry, we’ll find the perfect match here somewhere — I wonder, now —”

Eul eyed a wand at the top of his shelves, tapping his scepter and spiraling upwards on a column of wind. He grabbed the topmost wand and came down, landing heavily on his rump.

“Ouch,” he exclaimed, rubbing his backside. “Stupid patch.”

He continued. “This wand has an unusual combination — null talisman, staff of wizardry, recipe. Made from the red hair of a female fire-dragon. Nice and potent.”

Harry took the wand. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wand above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light onto the walls.

Eul cried, “Oh, bravo! Yes, indeed, oh, very good. Well, well, well… how curious… how very curious…”

“Sorry,” said Harry, “but what’s curious?”

Eul had come so close that he and Harry were almost nose to nose. Harry could see himself reflected in those misty eyes.

Eul touched Harry’s lightning scar.

“I remember every wand I’ve ever sold, Mr. Potter. Every single wand. It so happens that it so happens that the red she-dragon whose hair is in your wand, gave another hair — just one other. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother — why, its brother gave you that scar.”

Harry swallowed.

“Curious indeed how these things happen. The wand chooses the Dota player, remember… I think we must expect great things from you, Mr. Potter… After all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things — terrible, yes, but great.”

Harry shivered. He handed Eul 500 gold pieces, but the short man just stared back.

“The bearer of this wand must pay a terrible, terrible price, Harry.”

“What’s that?” Harry asked.

“A price beyond measure.”

Harry gulped. “Really?”

“No. It’s 2,720 gold pieces.”
 
——————-

Platform Nine and Three-XBOCT

“Excuse me,” Harry said to a plump woman who was talking to four boys, all with
flaming red hair and worn looking treasure chests.

“Hello, dear,” she said. “First time at Fogwards? Ron’s new, too.”

She pointed at the last and youngest of her sons. He was tall, thin, and gangling, with freckles,
big hands and feet, and a long nose.

“Yes,” said Harry. “The thing is — the thing is, I don’t know how to —”

“How to get onto the platform?” she said kindly, and Harry nodded.

“Not to worry,” she said. “All you have to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Don’t stop and don’t be scared you’ll crash into it, that’s very important. Pretend it’s a tower and you’re diving it. Go on, go now before Ron.”

“Er — okay,” said Harry.

He pushed his trolley around and stared at the barrier. It looked very solid. Leaning forward on his lockless luckbox, he broke into a run.
 
——————-

The Fogwards Pubtrain

Harry sat in the compartment with the youngest redheaded boy, who introduced himself as Ron.

“Are all your family Dota players?” asked Harry.

“Er — Yes, I think so,” said Ron. “I think Mom’s got a second cousin who also plays Call of Duty, but we never stack with him.”

“I heard you went to live with creeps,” said Ron. “What are they like?”

“Horrible. I wish I had brothers who played Dota.”

“I have five brothers,” said Ron. For some reason, he was looking gloomy. “I’m the sixth in our family to go to Fogwards. I have to coach when we pub. It sucks.”

“What do they do now?” Harry asked.

“I’ve got a lot to live up to. Bill and Charlie have already left — Bill played carry and Charlie was the drafter for his house team. Now Percy’s a tourney admin. Fred and George mess around a lot, but they are the best roaming supports in their year.”

Ron continued.

“I haven’t even played my placement matches yet. Everyone expects me to place as high as they do, but MMR isn’t everything. Even if I do as well as the others, it’s no big deal, because they did it first. You also never get anything new with five brothers. I’ve got Bill’s hood and Percy’s courier.”

Ron produced a fat grey creature, which was asleep. It was the ugliest thing Harry had ever seen.

“His name’s Scabbers and he’s a greevil. He’s useless, he hardly ever wakes up. Percy got a snowl from my dad for running TI qualifiers a few years ago, but they couldn’t aff — I mean, I got Scabbers instead.”

Ron looked down. “And I didn’t even get my own wand.”

Ron showed him a short stick with three yellow branches. “Mum says she’ll send on the recipe when she has a chance.” He blushed.

Harry couldn’t see how a person wouldn’t be able to afford a flying courier or a wand recipe. It was just another thing he didn’t understand about this new life.

“Oh don’t worry, I have a strange wand too.” Harry pulled out the red tipped wand that Eul had sold him.

“What is that!?” said Ron. “Try using it on something.”

Harry pointed it, and nothing happened.

Ron looked disappointed. “What does it do?”

Harry pointed again, and concentrated. Suddenly he had a vision of a blinding green light, of low cooldowns and no mana costs, of turrets and minions and champions.

A red jet of light shot out of the stick, incinerating Scabbers instantly.

“Oh no!” Harry gasped. “I’m so sorry!”

Ron was unfazed. “Don’t worry, he’ll respawn in a few minutes.”

Harry was still breathing heavily. “I don’t know anything about Dota, I bet I’m the worst in the class.”

“You won’t be. There’s loads of people who come from creep waves and they learn quick enough.”

Ron had taken out a lumpy package and unwrapped it. “What are these?” Harry asked Ron, who held up a pack of chocolates. He took out two pieces, taking the frog for himself and handing Harry a sheep.

“Let’s see what the card is.” said Ron.

“What?”

“Oh, of course, you wouldn’t know — Chocolate Hexes have cards, inside them, you know, to collect — famous Dota players and heroes. I’ve got about a hundred, but I haven’t got PPD or Rikimaru.”

Harry looked at his unwrapped Chocolate Hex. “Maybe we’ll get PPD in this one.”

“No,” Ron said. “You can’t get PPD from sweet candy, only from salty crackers.”

Harry unwrapped his Chocolate Hex and picked up the card. It showed a blank male face.

“This one has no face.”

Ron didn’t even look up. “That could be Icefrog, or Faceless Void.”

“Who?” said Harry.

“Don’t tell me you’d never heard of Icefrog!” said Ron, opening his own pack. “I’ve got Queen of Pain again and I’ve got about six of her… do you want it? You can start collecting.”

There was a knock on the door of their compartment. A figure stood in the doorway. She had bushy brown hair, large front teeth, and was already wearing her new Fogwards robes.

“A grill?” said Ron.

“They’re braces, thank you very much.” She said. “For my teeth.”

“No, behind you.” Ron said. A lunch lady was cooking various meats in the hallway.

“We’ll have a few hot dogs,” said Ron.

The girl looked at the burnt mark where Scabbers used to exist.

“Oh, are you doing magic? Let’s see it, then.” She sat down. Ron looked taken aback.

“Er — all right.” He cleared his throat, and theatrically waved his stick. “Null field.”

The girl seemed unimpressed. “That didn’t do anything.”

“I increased my magic resistance by five percent!” Ron exclaimed.

“You could do better just by pulling your hood up.” The girl said, matter of factly. “I’ve tried a few simple spells just for practice and it’s all worked for me. Nobody in my family plays Dota at all, it was ever such a surprise when I got my letter, but I was ever so pleased, of course, I mean, it’s the very best school of Dota there is, I’ve heard — I’ve learned all our spells and heroes by heart, of course, I just hope it will be enough.”

She said all this very fast. Harry looked at Ron, and was relieved to see by his stunned face that he hadn’t learned all the course books by heart either.

“I’m Hermione Granger, by the way, who are you?”