Fanfiction by Jacob Toft-Andersen
“We must stop Fnatic,” proposed Rekkles with iron resolution.
“How can we trust you?” asked Froggen with a condescending air, as if his air was physically above everyone elses.
“I no longer belong to Fnatic. All of my friends have left the team,” Rekkless reassured with a voice as smooth and rich and featureless as Shook’s Platinum ranking.
“Fnatic is a threat to League esports as we know it,” stated German support Nyph,1 literally dripping with concern. “Their use of two Koreans dilutes the purity of the EU LCS.”
Suddenly, I was kidnapped by Fnatic. Oh, I am the P.R. intern for the Alliance organization, in case I didn’t mention. Fnatic kidnapped me and took me away and I was screaming for Alliance’s help and then they came to help me.
“Hurry team, we must use our powers based on the five elements,” rallied Froggen in a long-winded speech. Get it? Wind? Wind is like air?
Froggen used his air powers to blow away the Fnatic midlaner. Wickd used his top-lane skills to smash his enemy to the ground, like an angry golem. Shook played Jungle Ashe.
With great synergy, Nyph and Rekkles used their powers of water and metal, respectively, to form metal oxide. They tarnished the enemy botlane and then soaked them with defeat.
“How can you fight me, Rekkles?” screamed YellOwStaR in disbelief. “What happened to our friendship?”
“You may still be yellow,” replied Rekkles with metallic steeliness, “but you are no longer a star.”
Suddenly GGA CEO Alex Garfield joined in on the fight. “And by your powers combined, I am Captain Esports,” stated Alex Garfield as he self-assembled into a muscular, costumed superhero by the team’s combined powers.
“Parody and satire are protected media under U.S. Fair Use law,” he added. He then used his marionette strings and secretly manipulated up the esports scene against Fnatic.
After the dust had settled and calmed down, calmly, Fnatic had been defeated and they lost. However, Alex Garfield was laying on the ground, mortally wounded to death. He was going to die.
I rushed over to his side. “Thank you and Alliance for saving me.” I was crying up tears, and I was sad.
“We cannot be ‘Alliance’ anymore,” whispered Garfield sadly. “The nefarious wizard/clergy Nick Allen has mortally-weakened me while we were distracted with fighting Fnatic. You must change your name to protect yourself.” With those last word, Garfield
sold GGA for obscene amounts of money died.
“We must figured out our new names,” stated Nyph fluidly, with tears running down his cheeks and then his neck and some went into his chest.
“I know!” exclaimed Froggen with great air. “We could be ‘Elements,’ since there are five elements and five of us.”
“Actually, there are four elemen–”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHOOK. DID I ASK FOR YOUR FUCKING OPINION?”
“THEN WHY ARE YOU GIVING YOUR GODDAMN OPINION? DO YOU WANT TO BE BENCHED, SHOOK? DO YOU WANT TO BE BENCHED?”
“P-please, I’m — I’m…” Shook then began to cry.
“And what will I be?” I asked.
“You can be an Elementor,” stated Rekkles as he awkwardly patted my back. “You’ll still help us with P.R. and social media.”
Wow, was I excited!!!!!!
On my computer screen, I typed up the announcement statement of my new team.
The Elements emerge!
In fluid motion, Patrick” Nyph” Funke dictates the flow of the game. With speed and grace, Henrik “Froggen” Hansen sweeps his foes off their feet. Ilyas ”Shook” Hartsema puts the heat under his enemies and fires them up. Through iron will and determination Martin ‘Rekkles’ Larsson delivers solid plays while the stout and sturdy Mike “Wickd” Petersen puts all of his opponents in the ground.
I stared at the screen with much thought. I thought of an awesome super ending and wrote it up.
– Jacob Toft-Andersen, Elementor.
What a cool ending!!!