Riot Excommunicates Deman and Joe Miller

The Church of Riot Games has declared former LCS Europe casters Leigh “Deman” Smith and Joe “Forced Meme” Miller as heretics and apostates, unfit for the glory of The Almighty Riot. As a result, both casters have been excommunicated in the first European Tribunal case this year.

Riot has also declared a holy war against ESL, claiming the polythesportic tournament organization has tempted its former employees Smith and Miller with wickedness. ESL currently worships several games, in direct violation of Riot’s First Commandment, Thou Shalt Not Compete.

“For Riot so loved the world that he gave his one and only Game, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal monopoly,” said Pope R. Nick Allen I, who refused to speak directly about Miller and Deman so as to avoid soiling himself with their impurities.

Allen did mention that he “feared for their salaries.”

“ESL has poached our casters, which is clearly a sin under Book 10.2.12 of LCS Scriptures,” said Jason Yeh, Riot’s EU eSports High Priest. Yeh pointed to a clay tablet inscribed with “Allen Is The Way” and then proceeded to make the Riot Fist with his hands.

Both Miller and Smith were also spotted playing and watching the Valve-produced game Counter Strike: Global Offensive, another violation.

“Abstinence is the only 100% effective way to not play other games,” said one prospective Riot employee, who also stated that he has never played any video games in his life. “I am saving myself for League of Legends when I get hired.”

News of the excommunication was nearly decreed by pagan Richard Lewis, but his heretic actions were foreseen by the Scrying Orb at Riot’s Holy Temple of Santa Monica.

Sources say both casters will be missed by their former brothers and sisters. “Deman always said that I should laugh more at his insults,” said former NiP player and LCS caster Martin “Deficio” Lyngemukt. “I have taken your job. Who’s laughing now, Deman? Who’s laughing now?”