Red Bull renames Battle Grounds to “Safety Zone: Detroit”

Red Bull’s StarCraft 2 event held in Detroit has been forced to change its name from “Battle Grounds” to “Safety Zone” due to numerous confused residents and fans who believed the tournament arena would be a center for recreational crime and concentrated rioting.

According to a 2012 census, Detroit has the highest rate of violent crime, murder, and aggravated assault per resident among all American cities, but ranks a mere ninth in property crime, a statistic that will surely increase when the invited Korean progamers depart with the vast majority of the event’s $25,000 prize pool.

In response, Red Bull has released a 352-page “Survival Guide” to attendees, which included valuable information to ensure safe travel and freedom of movement around Detroit like crime maps, emergency contact phone numbers, and locations to purchase body armor.

“The key to surviving burglaries is good macro,” said Ben “MrBitter” Nichol, StarCraft 2 caster and mugging survivor. “Keep your real life minerals and gas low and they will have nothing to steal.”

“When transversing high-risk areas, attendees should travel in groups,” advised Kevin “RotterdaM” van der Kooi, a StarCraft 2 caster and general music video star who was named after one of Holland’s most dangerous cities. “When the casters and production team moves around Detroit, we typically send Nathanias ahead of us to scout.”

Unfortunately, the violence already began when Choi “Polt” Seong Hun was assaulted by a roving band of criminals as he took the cross town bus. Fortunately, the Korean Terran player was able to successfully kite his assailants while retreating back to Detroit Metro Airport. There were no survivors, as all suspects were killed by a widow mine that Choi strategically placed earlier in the day.

“I would like to thank Blizzard for mine buff,” said the two time 2013 WCS NA champion. “Without the increased radius, one of my attackers may have escaped.”

Organizers have also provided competitors with flak jackets, kevlar helmets, and flash bang grenades disguised as cans of Red Bull. Sources say Blizzard planned to distribute a special alarm whistle to be used in case of emergencies, but had to recall them when foreign players repeatedly misused the device when paired with Korean opponents.