The North American League of Legends community’s tragic and unexpected death today has shocked the entire ESPORTS world. NA LoL was found dead in its apartment last night, overdosed on dramatic news. It is survived by its relatives in Europe, Korea, and other regions of the world.
“NA’s death has shocked us all,” stated NA’s hotter, more skilled sister, EU LoL. “Although not as much as TheOddOne’s retirement.”
“This is truly a great tragedy,” added the Korean community, a high-functioning sociopath. “We believed NA had quit drama abuse for good at the end of Season 3, when Regi stopped yelling at his teammates.”
NA LoL’s funeral was attended by several other ESPORTS franchises, including a group of StarCraft fans mournfully chanting “ded gaem” and a shellshocked party of DotA players who lamented that they had to find another game to send death threats to anyone affiliated with it.
Police toxicology reports reveal that the NA LoL community had ingested at least two team eliminations, two team promotions, five retirements, two confirmed roster shifts, one abdication, one benching, one managerial scandal, several team disbands, one potential Korean toplaner, one confirmed EU jungler, and one collapsed lung before finally sucumbing to the overload of dramatic events. Despite this, the community has begun streaming LoL from the mortuary.
With NA’s death, LoL analysts and pro-gamers have calculated that its chances against OMG have slightly increased.
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