Secret Reportedly Saving Strats for Reshuffle Period

 
Analysts have determined that Team Secret’s lackluster TI5 performance was due to the squad saving all their strategies for the post-International player shuffle, where western teams will be forced to deal with Secret’s goal of winning five straight reshuffle periods.

“We don’t plan on practicing shuffling players, as it won’t help us, only our shuffle partners,” said the Team Secret captain, who could be Puppey or S4 or whoever is going to end up staying on the team.

After news of Cloud9 disbanding, sources say Jacky “EternaLEnVy” Mao is already hard at work forming his next team, NoStormSpirit.

“I’m thinking S4 mid, Loda as safelane carry, Bulldog as offlane, and me and Akke as supports,” said Mao as his teammates stood behind him and gave knowing looks to each other. “I am very excited about this new team. We will pierce the heavens with our drill of victory!”

He added, “EGM has even agreed to be our first sub for the fall major!”

After CDEC’s strong showing at TI5, its parent organization LGD had planned to follow a similar model by forming a team around top players from North America’s in-house league equivalent. Unfortunately, despite hiring several English-to-Chinese translators, they were unable to communicate with ixmike.

“他为什么要跟我妈说话?” said former LGD and current CDEC manager Pan “Ruru” Jie.

Korean teams MVP.Phoenix and MVP.Hot6 have announced plans to split into four teams each, and have petitioned Valve to add six qualifier slots to the SEA region.

“We believe MVP Wyvern should be invited to TI6 over Rave,” said MVP management, who recently sold their teams MVP.Hot7 and 2Hot2MVP to SK Telecom. “We have also added an NA team, MVP America: Summer’s Drift.”

“Rave should be at TI for sure,” added Joel Thomas “deadmau5” Zimmerman.