Riot Shields Faker from Nefarious e-Stalking

Riot has announced that it plans to protect high profile professional League of Legends players from the rising threat of digital stalkers who would, among other things, use Riot-created tools in the exact way Riot intended for them to be used.

Church of Riot founder M. LoL Merrill criticized “SpectateFaker” yesterday, decreeing that both Riot Games and Lee “Faker” Sang-hyeok disapprove of the e-bullying stream.

The owner of SpectateFaker stream, StarLordLucian, was initially skeptical, demanding that proof be provided in the form of a notarized SKT1 video statement accompanied by no less than 50 fluid ounces of blood and urine samples that “totally will not be used to clone Faker.”

However, Lucian has since modified his stance, stating that the stream will continue regardless of whether Faker or SKT1 or Azubu or Twitch approve and that only a modification of Riot’s sacred Terms of Service can shut him down.

“Is it really so wrong for me to stream all of someone’s games without their consent to tens of thousands of people on a rival streaming platform?” said Lucian, whose layman opinion on the controversy, if adhered to, could set back United States intellectual property law by several decades.

KeSPA, the organization that owns and operates progamers like Faker in South Korea similar to the antebellum American South, has traditionally ruled its digital and physical realms with an iron fist, but has recently ceded exclusive streaming control to the DMCA-wielding Azubu Nation.

“THE AZUBU will not hesitate to protect our interests overseas with pre-emptive DMCA strikes,” said Azubu Digital Overlord Ian Sharpe. “We feel that SpectateFaker’s stream prevents THE AZUBU from innovating on scalable convergence to unleash out-of-the-box initiatives, envisioneer cross-platform e-business, and mesh transparent channels in an effort to intuit granular synergistic matrix open-source front-end integrated market technologies.”

He added, “The unauthorized stream also violates Twitch’s, and by proxy, our terms of service.”

“How would you like it if you painted this beautiful picture, but before you could put it up in an art gallery, someone had broken into your home, recorded a video of you painting it, and streamed that on a streaming platform that has not paid us off?” asked one KeSPA representative. “That power and right should belong to nobody. Well, nobody other than KeSPA.”

While few outside organizations like Amnesty International doubt KeSPA’s legal right to control every aspect of their players’ lives, there remains a massive anti-establishment backlash in the League of Legends community against shutting down SpectateFaker.

“It’s like if you wrote this novel, and a benevolent re-publisher is trying to help promote it, but instead Riot and Azubu break into your home and murder your family,” said r/LeagueofLegends user CLGDoublethink. “Now your family is dead and it’s because we can’t watch Faker on Twitch.”