New Dota 2 Players Quickly Switch Back to LoL

 
After two threads and nearly ten thousand comments about the new Dota 2 “Reborn” updates, League of Legends players appeared to be deserting en masse for Valve’s moba which they believed received more frequent and better developer support.

However, 80% of converts never made it past their first few games, turning back immediately because of the confusing and complex range shifts of the Blink Dagger item. Studies have shown that the overwhelming majority of Blink Daggers purchased were discarded with their last 20% entirely unused.

“I’ve added all the LoL champions and made Blink range constant,” said one custom game creator, who also drastically shortened the range on blink, removed its damage restriction, and added a 300 second cooldown. “I’ve also added a few bugs and removed replays.”

He then proceeded to run the Dota 2 client in “simulated Adobe Air” which immediately required a system update while slowly lighting his computer on fire. “Perfect!” he exclaimed as a thin line of smoke rose from its case. “Now to focus on re-skinning the Dota 2 logo into different colors!”

In order to entice former League players to accept the Blink dagger issue, Valve has decided to make the last 240 units of Blink Dagger initiation range purchasable for 101,000,010 Valve points (VP). A player can purchase VP or receive bonus VP by reporting toxic players, staying out of low priority, or simply queuing on the SEA server.

League players initially felt at home in the Dota 2 ESPORTS scene, which features a robust and strong European region compared to a weak and hapless North America, but were confused by the fact that MVP Phoenix had not won TI3 and TI4.

“Maybe your North American teams are bad because they don’t have enough Koreans on them,” said one League fan, who maintained that NA Koreans “still kind of count” as NA.