ESEX Dota 2 Patch 6.84 Analysis

 
Centaur Ultimate Leads to 40% More Self-Cliffing
Centaur Agh’s ult has opposite effect in The Trench, as most of your teammates were already cliffed.

75% of 6.83c Players Diagnosed with Sniper Stockholm Syndrome
Sufferers of SSS request new HOO HOO HAH HAH announcer pack. They still hate Troll though.

Aghs Weaver #1 Cause of Griefing TPing Teammates
Hi, 4k player here who reported Slahser. Slahser was our position 1 weaver. He built an aghs but never left the fountain. He would wait for us to TP back to base then timelapse us back to lane and yell “SLAHSER’S WAY” while refilling our bottles. Granted, his unorthodox build worked and we farmed very efficiently but I still felt it deserved a report.

Xzibit to Play Lifestealer in Live Action Dota Adaptation
Yo dawg I put a naix in your replicant in your phoenix egg so you can infest while you assimilate while you supernova.

MPAA Sues Kunkka for Untrackable Torrenting
“He has a ghost ship, a bottle of rum, a hook for a hand, and he’s constantly looking for gold, he’s literally a pirate.”

Patch 6.84 Alchemist May Lead to Dota 2 Financial Crisis
Changes to the creep valuation, barrack worth, and gold distribution in Dota’s Patch 6.84 have led to speculation as to the game’s economic direction, particularly with regards to the hero Alchemist.

As of now, Alchemist can purchase upgrades for his team or himself without using an item slot. Analysts speculate that by Patch 6.86, Alchemist will be able to borrow money from the shop to finance item builds, using his gold income and base structures as collateral.

“We call this barracks-backed mortgaging, where the borrowing Alchemist can secure a loan to purchase an item like an Assault Cuirass at the three-minute mark,” said N. P. Furion, financial advisor. “Provided he can make his bi-wave mortgage payments, which fluctuate based on how long we forecast the game to go.”

While item repayment plans based on amortized consumable items, principal item cost, and percentage farming rate per minute sound good in theory, analysts predict that subtle metagame shifts may encourage Alchemists to take out exorbitant, risky loans in order to secure extremely fast items.

Said one anonymous support: “We can expect to see a significant percentage of Alchemists lose their barracks to shop foreclosure because they cannot secure the farm necessary to meet their payments.”

Predicting 6.85:

•Octarine Core Removed From Captain’s Mode
•Tangoes Can Now Be Used to Eat Techies’ Minefield Sign
•Centaur Ultimate Now Lasts for as Long as Your Team Can Make the Centaur Ult Noise into the Mic
•New MMA Tusk Learns “Walrus Rear Naked Choke”
•New Item: Enchanted Orange Prevents Self Denying Aegis