Esports Express

Code B Flash Proves StarCraft Atheists Right

Militant StarCraft atheists have pointed to Lee “Flash” Young Ho’s loss in GSL to Samsung’s Lee “Shine” Young Han as proof that those who believed in his Terran divinity were wrong.

“This is conclusive proof that Flash is just an ordinary professional gamer, not an all-powerful StarCraft God,” said Professor Chad M. F. Jones. “A deity would probably make it out of Code A.”

After several failed attempts to qualify for GSL Code S, Flash believers are currently in a state of shock, similar to that experienced by Cult of Mech acolytes when Archbishop Avilo was defeated 2-0 by part-time progamer and Warhammer figurine collector Geoff “iNcontroL” Robinson during MLG’s Ender’s Game tournament.

“Once upon a time, everyone thought all maps were flat and units missed when attacking high ground,” said r/atheism user EvolutionChambersAreFact. “Zerg balance patches prove that Blizzard clearly doesn’t believe in Intelligent Design.”

Followers of Flash remain stalwart in their devotion, believing he is simply testing their faith and shall resurrect himself to Code S within two seasons to save the Terran race, which currently only has 4 of the 32 total players in WCS Korea Premiere League.

“Flash died for our wins and will return to us,” said UseFaithNotScans, quoting Chae 3:16. “He is the Terran race’s savior, our Lee Young Hope.”

“I’ve seen Flash perform incredible miracles,” added another fan, who believes the entire Terran race is currently focusing on Proleague. “He turns water into balance whine every time he plays.”

Young-StarCraft creationists are certain the metagame is just a few months old and was created solely by Lee Young Ho, despite CD-key dating and other replay evidence has shown that StarCraft has existed nearly 15*10^-6 million years ago.

Tagged with:

Related Articles