Esports Express

Pitchfork Preserver: StarCraft – Week of Dec 6, 2013

The Pitchfork Preserver

Definitely A Real News Source

EG CEO Alex Garfield Successfully Completes Morning Run Without Promoting Sponsors

Following the run Garfield told reporters “It’s a huge step forward, I couldn’t have made it this far without Monster Energy.”

Taliban, Al-Qaeda Aim To One Day Form KeSPA-Like Organization

Militants impressed by group’s dogmatic control over Korea.

ASUS ROG Northcon Last Chance For Koreans To Prove Themselves Against Foreigners in 2013

Jjakji thankful that he is all but guaranteed to advance to quarterfinals.

At A Glance

· Reddit Confirms It Loves—Wait, No, Hates—No, Wait, Definitely Loves Blizzard

· Aspiring NA Streamer Heckles TotalBiscuit Hoping for Rage Tweet Mention

· TLO believes he will beat NaNiwa at ASUS ROG despite both players not attending

· PhD Candidate Hoping For Academic Region Lock With 8th Graders


DreamHack Attendee Who “Liked” Smix Twitter Status Disappointed She Did Not Recognize Him

Weighing In

With WCS 2014 fast approaching, we asked parents of progamers what they thought of their children’s careers.

“Progaming got my son out of the house and traveling to exciting places like Ohio, Rhode Island, and Canada.”

Burt McEnry,
Pantomime Carpenter

“The bumper sticker on my car says ‘my son has not had sex but is good at video games’.”

Bethany Serchans,
Human Shield

“Last time we spoke on Skype, he didn’t even say goodbye. He just got this blank look in his eyes and started thanking a list of different companies I’ve never heard of… I’m afraid for him.”

Katie Dumas,
Stamp Moistener

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