The Pitchfork Preserver
Definitely A Real News Source
EG CEO Alex Garfield Successfully Completes Morning Run Without Promoting Sponsors
Following the run Garfield told reporters “It’s a huge step forward, I couldn’t have made it this far without Monster Energy.”
Taliban, Al-Qaeda Aim To One Day Form KeSPA-Like Organization
Militants impressed by group’s dogmatic control over Korea.
ASUS ROG Northcon Last Chance For Koreans To Prove Themselves Against Foreigners in 2013
Jjakji thankful that he is all but guaranteed to advance to quarterfinals.
At A Glance
· Reddit Confirms It Loves—Wait, No, Hates—No, Wait, Definitely Loves Blizzard
· Aspiring NA Streamer Heckles TotalBiscuit Hoping for Rage Tweet Mention
· TLO believes he will beat NaNiwa at ASUS ROG despite both players not attending
· PhD Candidate Hoping For Academic Region Lock With 8th Graders
DreamHack Attendee Who “Liked” Smix Twitter Status Disappointed She Did Not Recognize Him
With WCS 2014 fast approaching, we asked parents of progamers what they thought of their children’s careers.
“Progaming got my son out of the house and traveling to exciting places like Ohio, Rhode Island, and Canada.”
“The bumper sticker on my car says ‘my son has not had sex but is good at video games’.”
“Last time we spoke on Skype, he didn’t even say goodbye. He just got this blank look in his eyes and started thanking a list of different companies I’ve never heard of… I’m afraid for him.”