Esports Express

BotA Battle Report: Cloud 9 vs. Fnatic


The League of Legends community was in shock today after Cloud 9 defeated the European powerhouse Fnatic, winning the Battle of the Atlantic for North America. Analysts are still scrambling to figure out why Fnatic received such a one-sided defeat at the hands of NA’s top team.

Some NA fans point to the fact that “EU is trash” and “should go back to having affordable health care.” Meanwhile, EU supporters counter that not being able to play on their servers for months at a time created a natural disadvantage for European professionals.

Many argue that a deciding factor in the games was when a bald eagle, heeding the cries for help of its NA brethren, swooped down and clawed out sOAZ’s eyes during the laning phase of Game 1.

Perhaps more impressive than Cloud 9’s victory was the reaction from the LoL community. Immediately after Cloud 9’s win, the audience stood up and began to recite the Pledge of Allegiance as a large American flag was lowered onto the stage by Seal Team Six, headed by General Brian Wyllie.

In response to C9’s victory, Doublelift was quoted as saying, “Everyone, besides Cloud 9, is trash.”

Tragedy struck again for Fnatic when their mid laner, Enrique “xPeke” Cedeño, was apprehended by US Citizenship and Immigration Services and subsequently was deported to Mexico. He is from Spain.


The five members of Cloud 9 are scheduled to receive the Congressional Medal of Honor for their performance, which will be personally given to them by the ghost of Former President Ronald Reagan.

In response to the defeat of Fnatic, the European Union has enacted a trade embargo on the US, leaving many to question how NA organizations are going to import talented players into their teams.

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